Sing it with me now: "Total cra-a-a-aaap / Shoobie-doo-wop / Douche nugget!"
Kinsey
This movie was good, but it really needed a Chris O'Donnell-ectomy (a delicate procedure whereby the gangrenous scenes featuring Chris "Robin" O'Donnell would be excised, leaving the healthy tissue around them intact)
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace
Let's play a game of WORD ASSOCIATION!
Jar Jar Binks = Jar Jar Stinks
Crash
WORD ASSOCIATION #3
Crash = preachy, self-important bowl of retardery
And thus begins my relentless campaign of Crash-bashing. Hold on tight...
Babel
If you liked "Crash," you'll love "Babel" - and, in a related story, you probably can't dress yourself (because you're so damn stupid)
Short Circuit 2
Even if you watched this film while simmering in a vat of infected dog puke, it would still be better than "Crash"
Demolition Man
Hey, as long as we're doling out Oscars to shitty Sandra Bullock movies, how 'bout this nut-sucker?
Nell
Nell actually loved "Crash." She said, "I'wah da bes' moovy I evah saaw!" But, of course, she's a mental defective.
The Last American Virgin
Pretty soon, we'll need to outsource our virgins, like some sort of hymen-exchange program
Rush Hour
Finally, cinematic proof that Asians and black people are different. You've done it again, Hollywood.
Interview with the Vampire
Are these references current? But, they're hundreds of years old. Why are you kissing my neck? Aaaaagh!!!
...And, scene!
Miss Marple Mysteries: A Pocketful of Rye
From the people who brought you "Snoop Dogg's Throwdown: A Satchel Full of Weed" and "Lint Master 3"
The Happy Hooker
As seen in group therapy alongside the Manic-Depressive Panty Sniffer and Sparky, the O.C.D. Clown
Brief Encounter
A heartwarming tale about my last visit to The Faultline (although, truth be told, I actually prefer boxers)
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