Duets

Sing it with me now: "Total cra-a-a-aaap / Shoobie-doo-wop / Douche nugget!"

Dead Poets Society

A talented bunch, indeed, but their parties are a real snooze

Kinsey

This movie was good, but it really needed a Chris O'Donnell-ectomy (a delicate procedure whereby the gangrenous scenes featuring Chris "Robin" O'Donnell would be excised, leaving the healthy tissue around them intact)

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace

Let's play a game of WORD ASSOCIATION!
Jar Jar Binks = Jar Jar Stinks

City Hall

WORD ASSOCIATION #2
City Hall = Shitty balls

Crash

WORD ASSOCIATION #3
Crash = preachy, self-important bowl of retardery
And thus begins my relentless campaign of Crash-bashing. Hold on tight...

Ernest Goes to Africa

WAY better than "Crash"

Babel

If you liked "Crash," you'll love "Babel" - and, in a related story, you probably can't dress yourself (because you're so damn stupid)

Short Circuit 2

Even if you watched this film while simmering in a vat of infected dog puke, it would still be better than "Crash"

Demolition Man

Hey, as long as we're doling out Oscars to shitty Sandra Bullock movies, how 'bout this nut-sucker?

Nell

Nell actually loved "Crash." She said, "I'wah da bes' moovy I evah saaw!" But, of course, she's a mental defective.

The 50 Worst Movies Ever Made

...And 28 of them are "Crash"

The Last American Virgin

Pretty soon, we'll need to outsource our virgins, like some sort of hymen-exchange program

The Cider House Rules

Eh, the cider house is OK; I wouldn't go so far as to say that it rules.

Rush Hour

Finally, cinematic proof that Asians and black people are different. You've done it again, Hollywood.

Interview with the Vampire

Are these references current? But, they're hundreds of years old. Why are you kissing my neck? Aaaaagh!!!
...And, scene!