Elmo's World: Elmo Has Two! Hands, Ears & Feet

Stop right there, Elmo - we get it, you have two of a LOT of things, but there's no need to get graphic

Alias Betty

Her other aliases include The Bettster, Bett-o-rama and Queen Bettenstein

Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont

Opening for Molly Hatchet and Bachman-Turner Overdrive

Mystery, Alaska

This movie blows - mystery solved

Cats Don't Dance

...But they sure do fry up good

The Crying Game

Boo-fucking-hoo. I win!

Jo Jo Dancer, Your Life is Calling

And the name-change clinic is on line 2

Read My Lips

Vacuum... Vacuum... Olive juice... Olive juice...

Deliver Us from Evil

Sorry, no C.O.D.'s

Uncle Saddam

He's the kind of uncle who wouldn't even give you candy after molesting you

Forces of Nature

Is crap a force of nature?

Enemy at the Gates

[naive sing-song tone] ...Who iiiiiis iiiiit?

Shag: The Movie

As seen in the body-swapping comedy entitled, "Film: The Carpet"

Good Will Hunting

If this film has taught me anything, it's that pretty-boy actors sure can write! Congrats on your Oscars, Matt and Ben! [sound of gunshot rings out through Kevin's apartment]

Indian Summer

Hey, how about a little cultural sensitivity? Instead, they should have called it "Native American Summer" or perhaps "Injun Time."

Never Cry Wolf

...Unless a wolf just hurt your feelings

Belle de Jour

TRANSLATION: Belle of the day (delicious)

The Trials of Henry Kissinger

The plot really drags during his jaywalking period

Turtles Can Fly

Well, anything can fly if you catapult it hard enough

Scarecrow

They don't make movies like this anymore... that's because they're painfully boring.

The Godfather, Part III

I think Sofia Coppola summed it up best when she asked, "Daddy, can I ruin your movie?"

The Sorrow and the Pity

Those are just two of the emotions that will overwhelm you after having sexual relations with me

Polish Wedding

She put the veil on backwards... dummy

An American Werewolf in Paris

Merde

Dear Wendy

Please continue making delicious burgers and biggie-sized fries.
--Sincerely, Kevin Perry

Ask the Dust

...'Cause the face don't wanna hear it!