Best Legs in the 8th Grade

As seen on over 1 million pedophiles' Top Ten Lists!

Swing Time

From the makers of "The Teeter-Totter Brigade" and "Jungle Gym-Kata"

Slumber Party Massacre

Unlike its cast, this film is totally flat

Broken Vows

...Such as, "I promise not to make a shitty movie"

Little Children

In addition to its numerous Oscar nominations, I would like to bestow "Little Children" with the coveted trophy for Worst Date Movie of the Year.

I Am David

Congratu-fucking-lations

Wrong Is Right

Isn't this George W. Bush's foreign policy?

Death Ride to Osaka

Hey, it beats flying Southwest

Just Like Heaven

If Reese Witherspoon and Mark Ruffalo were a couple in real life, their celebrity nickname would be "Reesalo." Y'know when I figured that out? During this unfunny snoozefest.

The Dukes of Hazzard

A "Dukes of Hazzard" movie with a pro-environment message? That's like a mosquito wearin' bug spray! [cue the guitar twang musical sting]

Police Academy 6: City Under Siege

Sarajevo has never been so zany!

K-Pax

It K-Sux

Cool Hand Luke

It's best not to dwell on the unfortunate sequel, "Stink-Finger Barney"

Find Me Guilty

...Of horrible acting? OK, Vin Diesel, you're guilty.

The Three Stooges: Kings of Laughter

I demand a recount

Somersault

TAGLINE: You'll flip for it!

Unforgivable Blackness: The Rise and Fall of Jack Johnson

"Unforgivable Blackness" sounds more like the rise and fall of Martin Lawrence

Outland

a.k.a. "West Hollywood"

Wine for Dummies

If ever a film was marketed directly at your mom, this would be it

Book of Love

SPOILER ALERT: The novel referenced in this movie's title is actually Judy Blume's "Superfudge"

Kickin' It Old Skool

Jamie Kennedy can't open a movie; he can barely open a bank account

The Donnie McClurkin Story: From Darkness to Light

I hope this particular story contains a healthy dose of mocking the name Donnie McClurkin

Gene Kelly: Anatomy of a Dancer

Surprisingly explicit!

Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee

...Heart at wounded knee, got it. Now, where do you suggest I bury your knee, smart-ass? I'm so over this coroner job.

Drunks

I swear, that is the LAST time I allow a camera crew into one of my family reunions